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1. |
Life's a bitch
03:05
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“Life’s a bitch, then you die”
Or so the saying goes
Is that a promise? Is it a threat?
Or have you not decided yet?
I want a quiet year
A taste of peace
From the restlessness inside
I need some time away from this
I think I need a holiday
But it’s not that simple
When you’re living with ghosts
Of loved ones, of past lives
Of things that never were
I don’t want to be haunted
But I don’t remember a time
When I was truly alone
Will you tell me why you’re here?
I feel older, but never wiser
These old feelings resurface again
Hearing voices, seeing visions
In my dreams, friend or foe?
Burning up, burning out
I think I need to get outside
Stepping out into the great unknown
Your absence sends tremors through my world
Life moves around me, but I’m stuck wondering
Can I live in a world without you?
I guess that’s it then
It’s how it is
But the fact of the matter is
“Life’s a bitch, and then…”
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2. |
this is going to Hurt
04:41
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I saw you in my dreams again
On a loop inside my brain
But I don’t mind so much
It’s the only place I see you now
“I still see you sometimes, are you doing fine?
I hope you are, we’ve not spoken in quite some time,”
I’m trying, but I’m not ready to move yet
Just let me feel it, before it slips away forever
Life lesson: this is going to hurt
We are going to crash, we are going to burn
This is going to hurt
All we can do now is control the descent
Until we’re ready to climb again
It gets easier
But I’m still waiting on that
Five stages, they say
Which one am I at?
If you see me about, just walk on by
I’m working it out, but my well has run dry
I’ll come back from this, I just need time
But until then, I’ll keep it out of the light
Life lesson: this is going to hurt
We are going to crash, we are going to burn
This is going to hurt
All we can do now is control the descent
Until we’re ready to try again
And it’s buried deep, it’s in my bones
That piece of you that lives in my soul
I don’t know where to go, but they always say
“Onwards and upwards,” but I can’t do that today
I need a little more time, a few more nights
To start again, and I’ll try and get it right
I’m not afraid to go it alone
But for now I miss you
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3. |
the House on the Common
04:53
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I woke up angry, full of pain
At nothing and everything all at once
After all these years
Standing tall, like a light in the mist
Now you’re gone
And I feel a little lost
Yet I’m going to your house
The house on the common
And I don’t know if I’m ready
To go back just yet
No matter what I do
This is going to hurt
I don’t know if I have the strength
To meet your ghost
Grandad doesn’t remember
He held you as you passed over
But Alzheimers is cruel
And he’ll never have that closure
But to him, you’re alive
And I guess there’s beauty in that tragedy
I’m going to your house
The house on the common
And I don’t know if I’m ready
To go back just yet
The uncertainty is smothering me
I always hated times like these
But hey, life’s a bitch and then…
Yet here we are, together
Same as it ever was
Holding each other up
Same as it ever was
And though you’re gone
And it feels strange without you
Your house is a living museum
Of a life well lived
(Rest easy Joan, it’s okay,
We’re all here to help you on your way)
I was scared to go back
To the house on the common
Because I didn’t know
If I could live with any more ghosts
(Rest easy Joan, it’s okay,
When you get there, say hi to Val from me)
But I was so wrong
It holds the spirit of you, of us
Of the ties that bind us
To absent friends
It’ll be sold eventually
And I wanted to say goodbye
To the house on the common
And to your ghost that inhabits it
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4. |
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"I guess that’s it then
It’s how it is
But the fact of the matter is
'Life’s a bitch, and then…'"
...you keep living.
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Will Walton Manchester, UK
non-binary neurodivergent sadgirl songwriter from manchester.
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