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Deserved to Know

by Will Walton

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about

I was diagnosed with ADHD in January 2023.

This redefined my entire existence up until that point. I finally had a name for what had caused me so much difficulty and confusion growing up, but the more I thought back to the restless, creative and emotional teenager I once was, the more I felt what I can only describe as grief.

That’s how “Deserved to Know” came to be. This is me processing that grief. These are words of encouragement and validation, dedicated to both myself at 15 years old and myself now. If any of what I’ve written here or in the lyrics resonates with you, then I hope this little song brings you some comfort; it certainly did for me.

Finally, to my teenage self: it all works out. You didn’t know if you’d make it past 18, but you do. My ADHD is medicated now and the world feels brighter. My head is clearer and I feel happy and peaceful for the first time in a long, long time. I’m surrounded by the most wonderful people who make life worth living and who push me to be the best version of myself every day.

Love you all, especially my fellow neurodivergent friends and family.

lyrics

All those years you spent, feeling like a spare part
Internalising how they viewed you

I wish you knew back then
You shouldn’t have had to hide
Burning up and you didn’t know why
I wish you knew, I wish I could tell

The version of me that struggled too long
The version of me that deserved to know
That you only needed to survive
You deserved to know it was alright

I know myself now, and I have self respect
That I couldn’t have dreamed of back then
I dropped the mask, I don’t hide anymore
I know who I am, and I’m accepting it

And it’s strange, getting better
It doesn’t just happen overnight
When the truth changes your whole life
It takes time, and I mourn

I lived, but the fact remains
The grief is deep and it’s mine to bear

For the version of me that struggled too long
The version of me that deserved to know
That you would live to love yourself
And you’d believe that you deserved it

You couldn’t see beyond 18
But I’m here at 24

No more hiding, no more masking
No more compromises
Let go of those who won’t get it
Hold on to those who will

They didn’t deserve you then
They don’t deserve you now
But you deserved to know
That it would be alright

credits

released March 31, 2023
Will Walton - vocals, guitar

Produced, engineered, mixed & mastered by Will Walton at the Lavender House
Music and lyrics by Will Walton
Photography and artwork by Will Walton

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Will Walton Manchester, UK

non-binary neurodivergent sadgirl songwriter from manchester.

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